Blood doesn’t make family, love does!!!

 

I was born in a working upper-middle-class family in New Delhi, India in April 2005. My name is Garv Malik, my name means pride/proud, my parents were proud of me the moment I was born, and such are the Punjabi family emotions I feel. Both my parents are single children and they decided to keep the tradition with me. Having been born in an upper-middle-class family and working parents, We have been blessed with having a lot of help to do the household chores and help to drive us around. As my parents went to work each day I had my masi( Suku masi) to take care of me, "Masi" is what we call our mom's sister in Hindi, which is my mother tongue. "MA- SI" is two words MA(mom) Si(Like). Just like mom, and the name did complete justice to my masi in question. Mom told me that she has been with us since she, that is my mom was in 12th grade, and it confused me when I was younger, like where was she before that, I mean she is a part of the family right. Masi cooked my favourite dishes, stayed up with me when I was unwell and played with me. It was later in my life when my friends came over to my house that I realised, my masi is what they called a "maid", Felt weird the first time I heard them say , she is your maid. (help). Well, No I did correct them she is my masi- Suku masi. Now that's what all of them call her- Suku masi.

Suku masi belongs to a poor family in Odisha, she came to us and started working for my grandparents in hopes to support her family financially. My mom & Suku masi became friends then sisters during the long duration(25 years plus) that she has been with us. Suku masi always took care of my grandparents when my mom went to college and later when my mom got married. When it was time for Suku masi to get married my mom took her to Chandigarh to meet the guy she wanted to get married to and got her engaged then married. They made her trousseau and did her shopping together. It was a family thing, while masi stood with my grandparents and my family like a rock, my grandparents and mom supported her through her tough times as well. Family they say is not always blood, and this is what I saw here over the years. 

After her marriage, she came back with her husband who worked as an office boy in my mom's office. Nise uncle AKA Arneious Barla. Apprehensive at first as to what he is getting into, he soon came to love us like his family as well. Both of them took care of my grandparents, my great grandmother when she was old and when she got operated on, always loving us, taking care of us. I did see the same feelings reflected in my grandparents and my parents as well- when my masi got sick and was diagnosed with a cyst and seizures leading due to this, it was a challenge that we faced together as a family and as they say about facing and conquering challenges together, it was something that we did conquer together. Today my masi is healthy and perfectly fine.

Strangely enough, as I read the news, there is so much talk about the religious differences and hatred towards each other, and here at my residence we are practicing Hindu religion and Suku masi and Nise uncle practice Christianity, we as a family celebrate each of festivals of both the cultures, while Anshu (Suku Masi's daughter)ties me Rakhi( that is a Hindu festival where sisters tie a band on brothers hand showering them with love and blessings and brothers promise to protect and love them forever) and celebrate Diwali, Navratri all Hindu festivals, I go to church each year to light a candle with Masi on Christmas. I do see the difference in cultures at times, while my grandparents do not even eat onions during the (Navratri festival) 9 days of fasting - eating onion free, meat-free food, my masi and her family does eat meat on those days. There is no judgement on either side. Each respecting the other's culture.

Today, My masi has two kids Anshika, my sister about whom I spoke about earlier and Ansh, also my younger brother. (now attending pre-primary nursery school)

My masi's dream was that her kids study and break this cycle of coming from parents who are not educated. My parents & my grandparents took this dream to their heart and each assigned a role to make this happen. My grandparent became Anshu's guardians in school and paid for her school fees/books, my mom was responsible for any school documentation and admission related work and paid for Anshu's extra classes. I also got to be a part of this journey. My small role in this was to help Anshu with her homework, this was such a fun part, to be the big brother who knows everything ( according to Anshu) and to teach her. Anshu and I started doing our homework together since we were very young, and it's such a joy today to see her talk and read in English. Anshu is in 5th grade today and wants to be a nurse, she loves fashion something she finds in common with my grandmother and unfortunately, something I know nothing about. I look forward to the day when Anshu is a nurse. 

While some say it is Quid Pro Quo she did for you, or you paid her each month -that's why she is doing for you... I frankly don't see that or claim to understand that. I see two families coming together and accepting each other just the way they are, not expecting anyone to change, each supporting the other, my masi supporting my grandparents and my parents, helping out my parents in the ways she can with love, affection & care, and my parents and grandparents doing what they can for her if that means financial help-sure. And if this is Quid Pro Quo, I feel it is the best kind for each party gets to offer what they can with love minus the malice and judgement.

Maybe the world can learn a thing or two here !!!